A Change of Heart
by GeoOgre
Summary: Strong Bad plots to kill Homestar, but will he go through with it? Will he regret it? --- My first fic! I hope you like it! Rated T to be safe.
1. The Fatal Decision

A Change of Heart, a Homestar Runner fanfic(tion)

Chapter One: The Fatal Decision

**Hold on! Let me just type the standard disclaimer. Here I go. Homestar Runner and all related characters are property of the Super Chappio Bros., Mike and Matt.  
All right. Here we go again.**

The sun rises on a new day in Free Country, USA. First illuminated is the King of Town's castle, The Poopsmith still shoveling away at his gargantuan pile of the ol' No. 2. Marzipan's house is next, with Coach Z standing in the bushes, bags under his circular eyes after a full night of attempting to serenade 'The Only Girl' with his 'freestyling'. The proprietor of Bubs' Conces5ion Stand returns to his shift after another overnight course at Disco Tech. Nearby, Homsar floats eerily around The Stick, gargling something about his 'Yorkshire under Bamboo'. The House of Strong comes to life with yells, whines, and squeaks, while the only intelligible thing heard is a mumbling in the basement of "M-Mario Picross."

The mutterer is woken by an episode of Caleb Rentpayer, and realizes it's that time of week again. He trudges up the stairs, barely paying any attention to his The Cheat and brother Strong Mad sabotaging Strong Sad's bedroom with a mouse trap hooked up to a boxing glove launcher. Normally, he would have gotten his Videographafizer 2800 and mashed 'REC.', but he felt no urge to keep the fans waiting any longer.

Even with a new computer, his spam and hate mail nearly overloaded the hard drive. After several minutes of perusal, he selected what appeared to be a usable one. He turned his camcorder on and poised his boxing gloves over the keys.

"Run, jugga jig wugg, Run from the Internet. Run.  
"Dear Stong Badd,  
I think that the reason you don't really kill anyone, is because you like them too much.  
The Crapmaster,  
Javier Brandon."

Wait, were they SERIOUS? They thought he liked all these losers walking the streets? Heck, he wouldn't give two craps if everyone just dropped dead right now.

All of a sudden, he saw it.

This Javier person was CHALLENGING him! He wanted to see either someone's death or Strong Bad's own humiliation. Quickly, Strong Bad formed a reply.

"So, you wanna see someone die, huh? I thought that's what Teen Girl Squad was for. But if it's real demise you want, you'll be happy to know I killed off Homestar just this-"  
"Hey daiw, Stwong Bad.", said Homestar, walking in from 'behind the black.  
"SSH!-" Strong Bad shushed, pausing the camera. "What do you think you're doing? It makes my lie a lot less believable if you're standing TWO FEET from me as I tell it!"  
"Oh, sowwy. I just came to wetuwn youw fonduw pot again! I keep fowgetting that all I do with it is fill it with some scowpions and put them on Mawzipan's plants."  
"OK, why?"  
"Oh, some Bwazilian botanist called me about it and said it helps plants have gweenehr leaves."  
Oh, duh. Strong Bad had forgotten that prank message he left for Marzipan. Homestar must've heard it instead.  
"Keep it, dumbface," Strong Bad said, reconsidering his need for a fondue pot as well, "But you gotta get out of here right now. The folks at home don't really want so many interruptions in the final tape."  
This was one of the few Sbemails that he really ad-libbed, and Homestar's presence wasn't improving it much. Homestar obliged, and Strong Bad went back to the E-Mail.

"So, where was I, Javelin? Oh, right. You asked me to kill Homestar. This could get interesting; Lessee what the ol' Scheme Generator is cooking up."

The Scheme Generator, as its name implies, is a CH34T_W4R3 program that created plans for memorable capers and scandals. All one had to do was input two criteria, 'Crime' and 'Permanence'. The Cheat had written it upon Strong Bad breaking his imagination around E-Mail 100, but since, the Wrestleman had become nearly dependent upon it, using it to plan The Cheat's route through houses he was ransacking and a way to crash the Senior Prom, among other things of the like.

For the 'Crime' criterion, Strong Bad input 'Theft' as a test. He hadn't quite tried it on things other than the older computers, so he wanted to make sure it worked on his new foreign flatscreen. The 'Permanence' criterion changed to 'Genre', as it was supposed to. He selected 'Automotive', and the computer concocted a convoluted overview of a plan to steal the Gremlin.

A smile reached Strong Bad's face. He changed 'Crime' to 'Murder'. All of a sudden, the second criterion ominously changed to 'Victim'. He scrolled down the list and clicked Homestar's name. The program formulated this, and came up with a suggestion.  
"SET HIM ON FIRE."  
"Nah." He clicked 'New Plan' and it came up with another.  
"DROWN HIM IN FONDUE."  
"Umm..." Another.  
"MARK LEMKE, HOMESTAR RUNNER FOR THE BRAVES."  
"What?" This was getting tiring.  
After several more tries, he finally found what he was looking for. So evil, yet so devilishly simple. He chuckled to himself and reminded himself to get The Cheat to shop for supplies.

**So, how is it so far? I hope that Homestar's speech is recognizable enough. Remember, R&R!**


	2. The Aftermath

A Change of Heart, A Homestar Runner Fanfic(tion)

Chapter Two: The Aftermath

**(Insert Standard Disclaimer Here)**

Strong Bad lay his head on his drawing table. _No,_ He thought. _No, not like this._

_ Why? Why did I listen?_ These thoughts raced through his head as he recounted the past twelve hours.

_"All set, The Cheat?"_

_ "(Yeah, man. Strong Mad's gettin' the cannon.)"_

The plan had been to fire a cannon from the Computer Room to Homestar's house, hopefully engulfing him in a fiery explosion. It was not as simple as he would have hoped.

_Strong Mad sauntered in, holding the large makeshift cannon. It appeared to be various metal bits and pieces of lockers stolen from Coach Z welded together. The cannonball, however, was authentic, having been' purchased' from a museum devoted to the War of Town._

_ Strong Bad loaded the cannon, and The Cheat held the BMW lighter up to the fuse._

_ They had been so close._

_ Just then, a cry of "STWONG BAAAAAAYD!" startled them all. It all happened so fast. Strong Mad did a little jump and fell through the trapdoor, crushing the fridge. The cannon exploded, having not been made of strong enough material and made a series of cracks in the floor. The Cheat fell and landed on the kitchen counter in a fondue pot full of scorpions. Strong Bad was knocked out of the house and into a bush in the front yard, relatively unharmed. A dull _**thud**_ was heard from the kitchen, and Strong Bad passed out._

_ When he woke up, the piles of clothes on his bed had been moved down to the Laundry Room. In its place, _he_ was lying there, various cuts and scratches bandaged and a cast on his left arm._

_ He tried getting up. It was _excruciatingly _painful, but he needed to be able to hear the conversation taking place in the other room. One of them sounded like Strong Sad, and the other a bit like Bubs._

_ "How is he?" Strong Sad's voice asked._

_ "Stone dead. Looks as if this here cannonball conked him straight up. If I'm not mistaken, it's severe cerebral hemorrhage and a fractured jawbone," The Bubs-variety voice replied._

Dead?!_ Strong Bad inched closer to the door._

_ The kitchen was a complete mess. There were bits of ceiling and metal everywhere. The refrigerator was crushed, the fondue pot was upended, and in the middle of it all..._

_ ...Was Homestar._

_ Being examined by Bubs in his 'Docta Bubs' persona, and with Strong Sad fidgeting by the side._

_ Bubs picked up the cannonball. "This is what done it, all right."_

_ Unable to take any more, Strong Bad rushed back into his room, lay his head on the drawing table, and wept softly for several hours._

Strong Bad finally lifted his head to see Strong Sad standing over him.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Y-yeah. Sh-shut-"

And he broke out crying again.

Strong Sad, patting his brother's back softly, waited another long while before the tears subdued.

Strong Bad finally spoke up. "W-what happen-?" It was still mostly bawling and incoherent speech, but Strong Sad understood.

"I know you didn't mean to cause anything, but there have been some injuries. The Cheat's going to be fine. He's covered in scorpion stings, but he'll survive. You broke your arm and scratched yourself on the bushes, but it's not permanent. Strong Mad, however, has to be amputated. He fell on the refrigerator and busted his legs. And-"

Silence.

"Homestar's...dead."

Strong Bad flew into a rage. He didn't let his leg faze him, stomping his Funmachine and throwing his 7-track through the television. He tore down his posters and began foaming at the mouth. He let out an inhuman screech and collapsed in a heap, sucking his boxing-gloved thumb and weeping uncontrollably. He blacked out moments later.

**I couldn't decide on a good note to end the chapter on, so I just went with suspense. Remember, read and review!**


	3. Cases and Coffins

A Change of Heart, A Homestar Runner Fanfic(tion)

Chapter Three: Cases and Coffins

**(Look at me, mommy! I'm disclaiming!)**

With a sharp _CRACK_, the gavel sounded across the courtroom. "A-hey, everybody! Let's get the trial started before I eat my gavel again!" The jury fell quiet, and the prosecution began its opening statements.

"Well, Melanie, as you can see here, there's been a portion of a strawcake up stick em'd."

Senor Cardgage shuffled his papers. "And the case pile clearly states that his ethnocentrism has the heeble-jibblies."

Strong Sad watched in horror. This place didn't know how to run a trial! The Judge of Town spent more time eating than listening, and Prosecutor Cardgage had no idea what he was doing! Well, maybe he did, but no one else understood Senorian.

Yes, this was the Runner murder trial. They indeed had NO idea what they were doing, and Strong Bad was still trying to defend himself after emotional trauma.

"I-I object! This is all lie. Lie-"

And again, he burst into tears. "I didn't mean to! The-the cannonball and the lockers and The Cheat...It all went by too quickly!"

"Well, Mr. Strong. You certainly seem distraught. Is there anything we can feed you to calm you down?"

"N-no your honor. I just need an...an explanation."

Juror #3, Strong Sad, explained the whole ordeal while Bubs supplied investigatory, statistical, and medical side notes.

Strong Bad then explained what he remembered, and let the court decide.

"Wells, I do think that Barbarang has the point. It was merely an underturned left sailboat and the man should walk the roads."

"Well put, Prosecutor. What are the jury's opinions? Oh, and little Chef guy? Go get me some chili-mac."

The nine jurors responded.

"LET HIM GOOOO!"

"(Yeah, man. He apologized, and it was mainly my fault.)"

"Homestar will be remembered by all of us. I think my brother deserves another chance."

"I say nay! Murder on any grounds is horrible, especially when my boyfriend's the victim!"

"(I agree it's horrible. But sure as **** we're going to forgive him, even if he tried to pop me once.)"

YEAH, STRONG BAD WAS AT FAULT. BUT I BELiEVE IN FORGIVING EVEN THE WORST CRAP. IT'S MY JOB.

"He ain't the best, but anyone can change. Just look at me! I can finally fit into my lucky pants!"

"*sniff* Hamstray'll be missed. He was the most terrific orthlete I've ever sawr! I'm sorry, Strang Bad, but I'll have to say you deserve consequornces."

"DaAaAaAaAh! Juice man, juice man! Anything but the worst for the juice man!"

"If I'm guessing right, a majority of the jury says you'll change. I'll pass minimal charges if you do," The Judge of Town said as carefully as anyone scarfing down bowls of chili-mac could.

Strong Bad felt even worse. "NO! NONONONONO! PUNISH MEEEEEEE!!" He went into another fit, screaming and crying. He knew that he wasn't like the people who knew him thought. He didn't care. He just wanted Homestar to be avenged. There was something wrong about getting off near scot-free for killing what may have been his...his...friend.

A catastrophic mental change took place in Strong Bad. He fainted and was rushed to the hospital.

He saw himself in a landscape not unlike The Field. There was Homestar, kicking along his old can of Water Soup. Strong Bad's consciousness floated towards the spectral image, and saw...

Himself. What appeared to be himself, anyway. He had a big, bushy mustache and a large revolver.

"I challenge you...to a duel!" The voice was odd, 'duel' sounding more like 'dyoo-ell'.

The Homestar Runner lookalike's eyes bugged out. He began running, knowing better than to get into a gunfight.

"Run from me, will you? You pansy!"

_**BANG**_**. **_**Thud.**_

There he was. Lying in the middle of a lane, blood streaming from the entry hole.

This vision became hazy as he began attempting to cry out to the body.

"NO! NOOOOOO!" He screamed, attempting to get back and help.

He woke up, hospital bedsheets tossed every which way.

Strong Sad again attempted to console him.

Silence.

Strong Bad cried again.

Silence.

Strong Bad finally spoke, catching Strong Sad off-guard with his question.

"Wh-who's arranging the funeral?"

** I hope you enjoy my morbid scrawls! Remember, tell me what you think!**


	4. The Funeral

A Change of Heart, A Homestar Runner Fanfic(tion)

Chapter Four: The Funeral

**Well, I guess that in addition to the disclaimer, I wanted to say that I'm sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up. I'm also sorry if Strong Bad seems a bit OOC. I'll fix that.**

**As for the trial, I couldn't rest easy without some sort of legal process. So, I'm also sorry if that last chapter was corny. Awright, here we go again.**

Strong Bad thought.

Deep thought.

He hadn't thought like this in years.

_Why am I acting like this?_

He glared solemnly at the body in the coffin.

_I was never really going to kill him. Maybe blow up his house, but not this._

The Cleric read his Bible, and invited all to place flowers in the coffin.

They did so, nearly obscuring Homestar's face with bunches of dandelions and peonies.

_All these years..._

The Cleric closed the Bible.

_...And I only notice my wrongs now?_

Strong Bad continued to watch as the coffin was nailed shut. Slowly and steadily, The Poopsmith and The Blacksmith lowered it into the grave. They buried it and everyone walked away in grief. Everyone except Strong Bad.

Strong Bad lowered his head. He sat there and tried to cry. Nothing came out.

After a few painful minutes, he glanced up.

Inscribed on the tombstone was:

HOMESTAR MICHAEL "HAL" RUNNER, TERRIFIC ATHLETE

RUNNING IN OUR HEARTS FOREVER

Then the tears came.

Strong Mad heard sobbing. He put his wheelchair in reverse and pressed the accelerator with his other arm. This new method of transportation had been hard to get used to, but he pressed on.

He heard the sobbing emanating from behind an old oak in the Graveyard. With a few clumsy button presses, he steered himself to the source.

"S-strong Mad?"

"YES. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?" He'd also had to get a voice synthesizer. The sound of it nearly made Strong Bad burst back into tears.

"I-I dunno. I mean, I g-guess I'm tired."

"I MISS HIM, AS WELL."

Taken aback. "I didn't say-"

"I UNDERSTAND. LET'S GO HOME."

The brothers strode and wheeled towards the gate, Strong Bad caressing his broken left arm and gaping, eyes still sopping wet. Where did this understanding come from? Did Strong Mad always know?

Strong Bad lay on his bed. The Cheat had requested to sleep next to him due to nightmares of 'All these claws and stingers...brr'. He lay in the new crisper drawer where the 7-track used to be. Strong Bad sighed. He again tried to absorb the events of the past few days, failed, and sighed again.

Strong Bad felt so alone. He realized that he had his two occasionally-loving brothers and his loyal pet, but there was a large hole in his universe. His pillow felt lumpy.

**That'll be relevant in the next chapter. For now, please review and tell me what you think!**


	5. Saraleecheesecake, Denouement

A Change of Heart, a Homestar Runner Fanfic(tion)

Chapter Five: Saraleecheesecake, Denoument

**OK, OK. Sorry. I've been sick and had school double bleh. I promise, this chapter probably won't be worth the wait. Disclaimer.**

The two moons set and a ghostly light left the strangely-shaped trees and similarly strangely-shaped buildings. A white-skinned, armless kid walked across the reasonably featureless landscape.

"Hey, Stinkoman!"

A familiar-looking face donning a cobalt mane emerged from the tractor in which it had slept.

"What is it? Can't you see I'm busy sleeping off a CHALLENGE?"

A roundish panda bear bounded after the kid.

"Well, Pan-Pan and I were tossing the Cheatball and accidentally-"

Pan-Pan tripped and flew into the air. Stinkoman sprung into action.

"LOOK OUT!" He leapt over the steering wheel and pushed 1-Up out of the way. Pan-Pan crash-landed not one inch from where 1-Up had been standing. The bear left a large indent in the ground, cracks stemming out from the impact's nadir. Unhurt, the bear got up and muttered an apology.

"It's okay, big guy. Who wants to play some VIDEOGAAAAAMES?"

"Strange," Strong Bad mused, observing the scene from above, "That's not the Stinkoman _I _dreamed up. He woulda just left him be and laughed at the crash." _But this is what _I _would've done_.

DELETED!

Strong Bad awoke with a jerk, trying to recall where he was.

_**CRASH!**_

"OW! Stop! It's punching me!"

Strong Bad heard the commotion and remembered that he was still checking his email. He'd had his head on the keyboard.

"Weird."

Just then, Homestar walked in.

"Hey, Stwong Bad? I think you fell asleep while checking youw emaihl. You might wanna wite back to that Jaview guy. You accidentawy deleted his message."

Strong Bad took it all in. _It was all a...dream? Yes? Yes. YES!_ He threw his arms around Homestar and began screaming.

"I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE OK! OK! OK!! HOMESTAR!!!"

Homestar was confused. "I thought you hated me, and I haven't been anywhere. Plus, you'we still on camewa."

A single tear escaped from Strong Bad's eye. "Never-nevermind. Let's go get an ice cream, huh, buddy?"

The two smiled, and Strong Sad ran past, being continually punched by The Cheat's machine.

_Everything is fine._

**Whoah! Cop-out! I hope you enjoyed it, anyway. Please review, or else I'll think you don't love me.**

** As for my future projects, I'm looking at a one-shot with Coach Z, or maybe some Phoenix Wright stuff. Keep an eye out!**


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